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How to meet a guys emotional needs

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Here are seven things all men need in a relationship. I have countless male clients telling me every month that their partners rarely let them know what they like about them. Why not just have more of a good thing? So ladies, let your praise loose.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Understanding the Emotional Needs of Men

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Communicate With Men

Emotional Intelligence in Love and Relationships

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Last week I posted an article about the basic emotional needs of women. I typically write articles that are directed toward men, but I get more feedback from women, either in the form of comments, Facebook Likes, or by email. So today, I want to talk about the basic emotional needs of men. For the women, hopefully this article will help you to better understand your man.

Also, it is important to understand that the emotional needs of women from the previous article, and the emotional needs of men addressed in this article, are not exclusive to women and men, respectively. Also, there may be men who have an emotional need of commitment to family again, in the case that his wife works outside the home, and he is a stay-at-home dad.

It is important to have a good understanding of all these needs, so that you are better able to meet those needs for your spouse. Shocking, I know! Who would ever have thought that sex was the number one emotional need of men?

Are you sexually satisfied within your marriage? When we get married, we make promises to remain faithful to each other for as long as we live. So, looking a little deeper at our vows, what are we really saying?

As men, we promise to meet the needs of our wives, and we promise to only have sex with her for the rest of our days. We also trust that our wives will meet our own needs — the most important of which is sex. I know that. Most men probably know that. This may lead him to make more of an effort to meet her needs. She meets his needs — he reciprocates. Men, do not withhold meeting her needs as punishment for your needs not being met; likewise for women. This passive-aggressive behavior will lead to big problems in your marriage.

Do you remember when you first met your wife? You were introduced to her, and you thought she was beautiful. Also, she seemed to like football, and could talk somewhat intelligently about it — bonus! Throughout your courtship, the two of you attended several sporting events together, and always seemed to have a great time. I only went with you because I knew you liked it.

Believe it or not, men like to do things with their wives outside of the bedroom. Sure, we men like to do things with our guy friends, just as women like to do things with their girl friends. But the activities we participate in with our friends should never exceed the number of activities we participate in with our spouses.

Look, life is too short to spend all your recreational time apart from the person who is supposed to be the most important to you. There are literally hundreds if not thousands of things the two of you can do together that you both enjoy. Does it require some work to figure these things out? Of course. Will it be worth it? Each of you should sit down and make a list of everything that you are remotely interested in. After you each have your list, simply look for areas where your interests overlap.

The important thing to remember is that when you first start dating, be honest about your likes and interests. If you pretend to like something just because you know the other person likes it, he is going to be disappointed when he finds out otherwise. When I first looked at the list of emotional needs for men, I found this one to be the most offensive to me. Can you imagine leaving your wife because she is no longer attractive to you? Since this is a need, shallow or not, it can happen.

Before anyone gets into an uproar, think about the emotional needs of women from the last article : affection, conversation, honesty, financial security, and commitment to family. Suppose for just a moment that a woman has a deadbeat husband.

He is physically able to work, yet refuses to do so. The wife must get a job — sometimes more than one — just to put food on the table and to keep the lights on.

Financially, their household runs short every month, and creditors are constantly calling. The husband is not meeting her emotional need of financial security, is he?

How long, do you think, should she allow that situation to continue before deciding to move on to bigger and better things? Would she be justified in doing so?

So, back to this need of men to have an attractive spouse. There was something about her. Something about the way that she looked that attracted you to her. She was beautiful to you. Maybe she has gained a lot of weight you like her thin ; maybe she cut her hair really short you like it long ; maybe she always wears sweats and a t-shirt, and no makeup when she is at home you like when she makes herself up for you.

The point is, all those things that caused you to be attracted to her, she no longer does. Men, if the need for an attractive spouse is one that is most important to you, then you should talk to your wife if she has stopped meeting this need for you. You need to work this out with your wife, or your unhappiness could lead you to seek beauty in other women.

If you notice another woman who is actively trying to attract a man, you may find yourself sliding head-first down a slippery slope. Men, have you ever come home from work, carrying the weight of the day on your shoulders, only to be greeted by kids who are fighting and screaming, and are looking for you to settle their argument? Also, your wife tells you that she has had it up to here she holds her hand over her head with the kids, and she needs a break.

Oh, and by the way, the garbage needs to be taken out, the garage door is squeaking, the faucet is leaking, and this is broken, and that needs to be fixed! Welcome home, honey! If she is a stay-at-home mom, there will certainly be days when she has, in fact, had it up to there with the kids.

Do your best to be sympathetic. Do not run away from this problem, though. Come up with an agreement that you both can live with. Decide that the first hour will be devoted to relaxing with the family. Keep it positive! Ladies, if you are a stay-at-home mom, try to create an environment that is more appealing to him than staying at work is. If you both work, you need to come to an agreement about who handles what in and around your home. Think about everything from dishes to laundry to grocery shopping to yard work to paying the bills to…you get the picture.

Then divide the remainder of the responsibilities equally and fairly between the two of you. Everyone likes to be admired.

What is the big deal about admiration? Well, it makes us feel good about ourselves — duh! For one thing, it makes you not want to put forth that amount of effort on future tasks.

Secondly, it hurts your self-esteem. Sounds childish, right? Praise inspires us to keep going. It inspires us to do even better next time so that we can get even more praise! Negative reinforcement causes us to shut down — to quit. Susan Greene pointed out in her comment to the last article , showing appreciation to your spouse goes a long way in creating happiness and satisfaction in your marriage. Appreciation goes hand-in-hand with admiration. Being the recipient of loving, sincere admiration and appreciation means the world to us.

What are some other needs that you men have? Talk about them in the comments below! Sign up to receive Control Yourself! Facebookers — Check out the Control Yourself!

I especially like your comment about recreational companionship, David. My husband and I were best friends long before we ever "got serious. Now, many years down the road, we still enjoy doing things together. It can be a bike ride, a game of tennis or watching a movie. We look upon them as simple pleasures, and I do feel they help keep our relationship strong.

My recent post Home. That is great that you and your husband do so many things together. I've always thought that the old saying of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is a mistake. Spending time together doing things that both of you like is what makes our relationships stronger. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account.

Gentlemen Speak: The Best Ways to Understand (and Speak) a Guy’s Emotional Language

A few weeks ago I posted a blog about 5 Qualities every woman should look for in a man. Contrary to what society wants to portray we are not these physical animals that only need sex, sustenance and sleep to survive. We have needs that extend beyond the physical.

The Emotional needs of a man is one of the most misunderstood emotions. Our emotions are a combination of a host of factors —mood, temperament, personality, motivation and disposition. That is to say that our emotions are a combination of mental activities and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.

Toggle navigation. Do you know what to do when your man suddenly pulls away? Why do men go into Emotional Hibernation? To understand that, we need to understand the very basics of how men communicate.

7 Things All Men Need Most In A Relationship (But Will Never Tell You)

Last week I posted an article about the basic emotional needs of women. I typically write articles that are directed toward men, but I get more feedback from women, either in the form of comments, Facebook Likes, or by email. So today, I want to talk about the basic emotional needs of men. For the women, hopefully this article will help you to better understand your man. Also, it is important to understand that the emotional needs of women from the previous article, and the emotional needs of men addressed in this article, are not exclusive to women and men, respectively. Also, there may be men who have an emotional need of commitment to family again, in the case that his wife works outside the home, and he is a stay-at-home dad. It is important to have a good understanding of all these needs, so that you are better able to meet those needs for your spouse. Shocking, I know!

Your Partner Cannot Fulfill All Your Emotional Needs

Photo by Stocksy. We all have emotional needs. But what exactly is the definition of an emotional need? Let's talk about examples of basic emotional needs, how to figure out what our own individual needs are, and how to get those needs met. Emotional needs are feelings or conditions we need to feel happy, fulfilled, or at peace.

Emotional intelligence EQ is the secret of lasting intimate relationships, largely because it makes us extremely aware of the changes—large and small—that are constantly occurring in ourselves and others. We have the potential to attain the kind of love we all dream of—deep intimacy, mutual kindness, real commitment, soulful caring—simply because of empathy, our innate ability to share emotional experience.

We hear a lot of talk about the oppression of women, but do we really hear any talk about the oppression of men? Quite frankly, I never have. At least not in the way I'm about to explain.

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You may feel that your spouse is not meeting your emotional needs. But, marriage counselors and psychology experts generally agree that only you can satisfy those needs. You should not consider yourself an empty emotional vessel to be filled by your spouse. You need to take responsibility for your own fulfillment, and the best way to do that is to consider and satisfy your spouse's needs first.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to practice emotional first aid - Guy Winch

For some reason, men have a hard time opening up emotionally. So the question is — are men really emotionally detached or are they just wired to not share their deepest and darkest with us women? From a guys perspective, they need to have it all together no matter what, so they detach from their feelings so that they CAN keep it all together. So why would he want to share that with you? A guy being transparent about such things is hard to come by — possibly because of the standard that society holds him to; possibly because you are unintentionally disregarding his feelings or giving him the impression that he HAS to hold it together — otherwise the family would fall apart. But the truth is, men have MANY feelings, and they translate into these emotional needs that people rarely talk about.

The Repressed Man: What He Really Needs From His Partner

Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past. Whatever the case may be, you can overcome your obstacles. The first step to finding love is to reassess some of the misconceptions about dating and relationships that may be preventing you from finding lasting love.

Most important emotional needs -- Here 5 of Dr. Harley's top 10 needs are But the solutions I offer can often be applied to men as well, where wives must learn.

Your emotional needs are inner cravings that when they are satisfied, make you feel happy and content. When they are unsatisfied, you are left to feel both empty and frustrated. Understanding the biggest needs of men and women can totally change the dynamic and potential of your relationships. Ignorance is one of the mayor causes of failures in relationships. Men try to meet the needs of a woman based on what they think is necessary and women do the same.

5 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF A MAN

Studies consistently show that men and women are not very different in their wants and needs. Perhaps there are differences, but science has not found a way to measure them. Experts who speak on the subject acknowledge that differences do persist and work to bridge the gap between men and women, helping women understand what men want and need in relationships. While a man's needs are highly individual, there are some general guidelines to knowing what a man needs in a relationship.

How to Fulfill the #1 Emotional Need of a Man and a Woman

In a marriage, both spouses have emotional needs that they desire to fulfill to feel balanced. And when it comes to the most important emotional needs of a spouse, men and women greatly differ from each other. By gaining an in-depth understanding of the emotional needs of a man, you can act as a better wife and thereby be better able to sustain the relationship. Instead, inside their hearts, they often worry whether they measure up and whether they are good at what they do for their women.

Photo Credit: Manchik Photography. Interpreting emotional cues is a constant source of struggle and consternation for those of us trying to have a meaningful connection with a member of the opposite sex.

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